Archive for January, 2008

Well, can you believe that it’s been nearly a month since Dog Versus Sandwich launched?

If not, why not? How cynical, gentle reader, of you to suspect the very calendars on which our lives are predicated. If time is taken away from us, what do we have left… what do we have left?

Perhaps this poem will help you decide:


What the magician’s assistant says about her master

by Kristine Ong Muslim




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This week’s story. Enjoy!




Fennywompus: A Modern Fable

Faith Gardner


An unemployed man sat watching soap operas on his sofa.  He heard a knock on his door and answered it.  Standing about three feet tall on his doorstep was a magical stork.  The magical stork’s name was Fennywompus, as his nametag indicated.  He was decorated with rainbow feathers.


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Went through the submissions database today. After the initial flurry of submissions, we’ve settled down in December and January to an average submission rate of one story per day.

This means that your chances of being accepted are one in seven. Not too shabby!

So keep those stories coming.

I have to say, too, that updating the DvS submissions database is a lot of fun. We get some fantastic titles from you crazy people.

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Welcome, young sapling, to the second week of Dog Versus Sandwich. This week’s story was vat-grown by eccentric scientists weak from hunger after a gruelling sack race. I think the results were wonderful!

Why Do They Dance? pdf version 



Why Do They Dance?

by Patricia Russo




They are little men, no more than a foot and a half tall. Maybe a bit more. Knee-high, depending on how tall you are. Knee-high to me, anyway. They have stern gray faces and no ears, and they dance. They dance in circles on the street corners, holding hands, whirling in carousel circles, or weaving in and out of fractal patterns, their arms held up stiff to the sky, like the bare branches of winter trees. They all wear brown, always, and they are always dancing.


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Welcome to the first beginning opening start of Dog Versus Sandwich. I can only assume that future generations will conduct a fitting tribute to this moment, and so I won’t bother. Thank you, reader-creature, for joining me on this exciting and hopefully condiment-filled journey.

Below this introduction lurks (in a sinister manner) our first story. You can either click on the pdf (which I recommend, simply because I like the font better) or click on the link below the first paragraph.


Chronicle of a Doomed Librarian



Chronicle of a Doomed Librarian

by Toiya Kristen Finley


Perhaps it was best the old librarian did not know the ultimate plan for the Library, for someone would have had to explain the crane with its silent and mammoth ball, sitting outside waiting to break down the Library walls in the morning.  (more…)

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I know, I know… fear not, my humble colleagues. For in a couple of short (or long, if you’re in Antarctica) days the first issue of Dog Versus Sandwich will “go live”, as they say in the entertainments on Queen Street.

I’ve been very happy with the quality of submissions I’ve received. There are numerous mags around these days, but I hope DvS offers something unique and enjoyable. At this stage I’ll be posting stories weekly, mixing full stories with shorter pieces. If you enjoy the stories, make sure you let the authors know in the comments.

At this stage, I have stories chosen through to mid-March, which really isn’t that long in publishing terms, so by all means keep the madness coming.

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