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Archive for the ‘October 2008’ Category

I discovered this story next to my inner peace. It was printed on tattered parchment, with a stamp pad next to it, and a group of seven sleepy behemoths had been taking it in turns to stamp words onto it, mixing into the story until it formed a potpourri of mischance and happy accidents. It took me nine years to track down its author, who declared the behemoths had stamped it just as she would have written it, herself. But that they would be receiving none of the royalties.

Fair enough, I guess.

tongue 

 

 

 

Tongue

 

Samantha Henderson

 

 

 

 

3/7 – 10421 mi 12.5 g.

3/14 – 10706 mi 11 g.

3/30 – 10945 mi 12.5 g.

 

God help me. Its tongue is just like a parrot’s, like a huge, scaly black worm. It’s rubbing it all over the passenger window like it’s trying to taste me. (more…)

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This week’s story is something I think we’ve all been through, no? I remember losing my hands in the dumb-waiter chute of an upmarket establishment in the nineteen-forties after one too many secretive schnapps when Mister Chesterton was following us. Needles to say there was much pianissimo and very little mezzoforte until a fortunate dog unearthed them while sicking up a nerf ball. And the rest, as they say, is history.

the-day-my-hands-fell-off 

 

 

The Day My Hands Fell Off

 

T.J. McIntyre

 

 

 

 

 

Because they were unused, because they had remained idle beyond the allotted time, because my chubby fingers had long since grown useless, my hands fell off. The Department of Utility came along behind me and swept them up in a street-sweeper. (more…)

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